At its annual shareholder’s meeting, AmeriCare’s CEO Stanley Portelano credited the implementation of its innovative “kitchen sink” model for its most recent 1% gain in revenue, much to the relief of its investors who originally questioned the company’s incrementalist approach in a competitive landscape.

“We owe our recent successes to the deployment of a few, simple key tactics – particularly to:

• the introduction of 32 new hospitals to market,
• and our cutting-edge branding strategy,
• and our new physician engagement architecture,
• and the new RTLS system to reduce medication errors,
• and recent changes to our hospital executive compensation model,
• and seven critical cost-saving initiatives across our business operations,
• and our new cloud-based patient enablement systems that have sped up the pace of customer interaction,
• not to mention our charitable Giving-Back Campaign,” Portelano highlighted to his audience of bewildered investors.  

“We’ve really got everything in here – the whole kitchen sink. And these gains provide us the evidence that everything we’ve done that we’ve read in HBR lately really must have worked.”

Later that evening Portelano told reporters that “We’ve covered all of the bases. If there is an innovative idea out there, we made sure to do it.”