780 investors lined up outside the 2022 Z-aggregator Startup Accelerator Conference last Friday morning at 5:00 am PST, eager for their chance to fight their way through the crowd to claim their stake in whatever AI idea might be looming in the inventory of 23-year old minds.

The line outside the door included tech titans Magnus Fitch, Steve Marley, and Prince Khalifa Abed. “These accelerator guys may not be able to match Google’s DeepMind AI systems yet, but they are cheap, have college debts, wear glasses, and I can’t understand a word of what they are saying. So they must be on to something,” Fitch affirmed, just moments before the opening.

According to the advertised program, the conference hall this year would stock 36 aisles of pitch meetings, 48 demo kiosks, and 167 discounted, fledgling series B offers.

Once the commotion subsided, Marley shared that “most of the smart city, language processing, fintech, and gene sequencing stuff were snatched up pretty quickly. But I was able to grab a quantum thingy that should be profitable in about 18 years.”

When asked about the applications for such technologies, most investors reported that the applications should emerge once the Big Five announce their plans. Marley commented, “we invest in the infrastructure now, and once Alphabet and Meta share their applications, we can usually get to the adjacent markets, which is really critical if you want a .ai url in your portfolio.”

Only six investors were injured at the event’s VR booth, and all eight of the minor scuffles were quickly dissolved by event security and settled out of court.